Before we get into what we really believe and why, let's look at few most common myths about behavior change. Some people might think is true about them but let's see what's not.
Myth #1 You Just Need To Try Harder
Hustle More, Get Mentally Tough, Be Gritty, Resilient, And Discipline
One of the myths is stating that you need to have at least a superhuman levels of willpower to enable those change to take place in your life. It's a great story, and it sticks. We've all heard about the underdog who defied the odds, or the person who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps.
For a moment, these stories feel motivating. It feels like no matter our circumstances, if we just try hard enough, we can accomplish anything!!
However the "try harder" mantra doesn't really add up in real life. WHY?
It ignores real limitations
We can overcome many of them but we have to acknowledge them first.
These constrains include:
Privilege and/or discrimination
Support or pressure from physical and social environments
Existing resources, like the knowledge or wealth passed down through generations
plot twists, sheer luck, and the unpredictable nature of real human life
Having great network that actually boost your value in life
People face messy and complex problems in daily life. Pretending those don't exist doesn't really help. It's still exist!
It Over-Estimates Our "Free-Will"
We can act on our own behalf, and having autonomy is a crucial part of change, but our "free will" is much less "free" than we think.
It Prioritizes effort over strategy or skills
Effort is really great (I don't mean that you don't need effort to succeed), but doing the wrong thing harder won't bring you anywhere near to success.
As the great organizational thinker Peter Drucker wrote " There is nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency something that should not be done at all." "Trying hard" without a strategy or skill is like trying to become a better write by pressing harder with the pen.
Rather than just working more, we need to look for what's effective
It Feels Terrible When We Don't Succeed
If we believe it's all about effort, willpower, and hustle, it feels awful when we fail. We assume the problem is that we're lazy, rather than taking a full account of all the factors involved.
Foes our effort make a difference? of course!
Is it the only thing that matters? Absolutely Not!
Let's understand about how marshmallows predict your success
Let's make our effort worth it!